Burma Shave

Before various governmental agencies started their safe-driving programs, the Burma Shave Company had a very effective safe-driving program that did not cost the taxpayers a penny!

      For those of you who never saw the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930s and 1940s.   Before the Interstates, when everyone drove the old 2-lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields.   They were small red signs with white letters.   Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing one line of a four line couplet ... and the obligatory fifth sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

*
BROTHER  SPEEDER,
LET'S  REHEARSE;
ALL  TOGETHER,
   GOOD  MORNING  NURSE  
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
 DON'T  LOSE  YOUR  HEAD 
TO  GAIN  A  MINUTE
YOU  NEED  YOUR  HEAD
  YOUR  BRAINS  ARE  IN  IT 
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
DROVE  TOO  LONG,
DRIVER  SNOOZING
  WHAT  HAPPENED  NEXT 
IS  NOT  AMUSING
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
AROUND  THE  CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
  IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NEW CAR  
WASN'T  IT?
*** Burma Shave  ***
*
*
SPEED WAS HIGH
    WEATHER  WAS  NOT  
TIRES  WERE  THIN
X MARKS  THE  SPOT
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
THE  MIDNIGHT  RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED  HIM  TO
 A  WARMER  HEMISPHERE 
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
AT  INTERSECTIONS
LOOK  EACH  WAY
A HARP  SOUNDS  NICE
  BUT  ITS  HARD  TO  PLAY 
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
      A  GUY  WHO  DRIVES     
A  CAR  WIDE  OPEN
IS  NOT  THINKIN'
HE'S  JUST  HOPIN'
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
CAR  IN  DITCH
DRIVER  IN  TREE
 THE  MOON  WAS  FULL 
AND  SO  WAS  HE
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
 PASSING  SCHOOL  ZONE 
TAKE  IT  SLOW
LET  OUR  LITTLE
SHAVERS  GROW
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
GRANDP'S  OUT  WITH
  JUNIOR'S  DATE 
 OLD  TECHNIQUE  WITH  
    BRAND  NEW  BAIT 
*** Burma Shave ***
*
*
HE  MARRIED  GRACE
  WITH  SRATCHY  FACE  
HE  ONLY  GOT  ONE
DAY  OF  GRACE
*** Burma Shave ***
*
 
*
  SAID  FARMER  BROWN   
 WHO'S  BALD  ON  TOP,  
WISH  I  COULD
ROTATE  THE CROP !
*** Burma Shave ***
*
 

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